#we've been here too long and all our brains are rotted

[venusin-aries]

You know what, SJM spilling the tea from a cup with what looks like wings and a blue siphon actually has me laughing. She's not tswift, but it's 👀 funny.

[patronsaintofelsewhere]

'snow & dirty rain' by richard siken is so aziracrow-coded (the good omens brain-rot is so strong and so crippling)

Close your eyes. A lover is standing too close to focus on. Leave me blurry and fall toward me with your entire body. Lie under the covers, pretending to sleep, while I'm in the other room. Imagine my legs crossed, my hair combed, the shine of my boots in the slatted light. I'm thinking My plant, his chair, the ashtray that we bought together. I'm thinking This is where we live. When we were little we made houses out of cardboard boxes. We can do anything. It's not because our hearts are large, they're not, it's what we struggle with. The attempt to say Come over. Bring your friends. It's a potluck, I'm making pork chops, I'm making those long noodles you love so much. My dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing for blood, but we are the crossroads, my little outlaw, and this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden, which is a tenderness, which is a room, a lover saying Hold me tight, it's getting cold. 

We have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven, which brings us back to the hero's shoulders and the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it. The lawn drowned, the sky on fire, the gold light falling backward through the glass of every room. I'll give you my heart to make a place for it to happen, evidence of a love that transcends hunger. Is that too much to expect? That I would name the stars for you? That I would take you there? The splash of my tongue melting you like a sugar cube? We've read the back of the book, we know what's going to happen. The fields burned, the land destroyed, the lovers left broken in the brown dirt. And then it's gone.

Makes you sad. All your friends are gone. Goodbye Goodbye. No more tears. I would like to meet you all in Heaven. But there's a litany of dreams that happens somewhere in the middle. Moonlight spilling on the bathroom floor. A page of the book where we transcend the story of our lives, past the taco stands and record stores. Moonlight making crosses on your body, and me putting my mouth on every one. We have been very brave, we have wanted to know the worst, wanted the curtain to be lifted from our eyes. This dream going on with all of us in it. Penciling in the bighearted slob. Penciling in his outstretched arms. Our father who art in Heaven. Our father who art buried in the yard. Someone is digging your grave right now. Someone is drawing a bath to wash you clean, he said, so think of the wind, so happy, so warm. It's a fairy tale, the story underneath the story, sliding down the polished halls, lightning here and gone. We make these ridiculous idols so we can pray to what's behind them, but what happens after we get up the ladder? Do we simply stare at what's horrible and forgive it?

Here is the river, and here is the box, and here are the monsters we put in the box to test our strength against. Here is the cake, and here is the fork, and here's the desire to put it inside us, and then the question behind every question: What happens next? The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I'm alive, but monsters are always hungry, darling, and they're only a few steps behind you, finding the flaw, the poor weld, the place where we weren't stitched up quite right, the place they could almost slip right through if the skin wasn't trying to keep them out, to keep them here, on the other side of the theater where the curtain keeps rising. I crawled out the window and ran into the woods. I had to make up all the words myself. The way they taste, the way they sound in the air.

I passed through the narrow gate, stumbled in, stumbled around for a while, and stumbled back out. I made this place for you. A place for you to love me. If this isn't a kingdom then I don't know what is. So how would you catalog it? Dawn in the fields? Snow and dirty rain? Light brought in in buckets? I was trying to describe the kingdom, but the letters kept smudging as I wrote them: the hunter's heart, the hunter's mouth, the trees and the trees and the space between the trees, swimming in gold. The words frozen. The creatures frozen. The plum sauce leaking out of the bag. Explaining will get us nowhere. I was away, I don't know where, lying on the floor, pretending I was dead. I wanted to hurt you but the victory is that I could not stomach it. We have swallowed him up, they said. It's beautiful. It really is. I had a dream about you. We were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want. You said Tell me about your books, your visions made of flesh and light and I said This is the Moon. This is the Sun. Let me name the stars for you. Let me take you there. The splash of my tongue melting you like a sugar cube... 

We were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want, so I said What do you want, sweetheart? and you said Kiss me. Here I am leaving you clues. I am singing now while Rome burns. We are all just trying to be holy. My applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me. We are all going forward. None of us are going back.

[milks-shake-cafe]

Okay, so I'm in my Bleach brain rot era thanks to TTY.BW arc! And I realized I haven't done my headcanon/lore explanation posts in almost a year and I miss doing those so here it is! A scramble of events, explanations and fun facts of my ship with my babygirl Ken.pachi 🩵

Also this is really long, so sorry about that!

Aside from my insert giving Yac.hiru sweets for them to share, Ken.pachi and my insert at first, quite literally never saw each other because he never goes around where Squ.ad 13 is and she's always doing something inside of the building.

Ken.pachi really didn't pay my insert any attention since she's from Squ.ad 13 and lack of knowledge or word of her fighting prowess led to him being uninterested.

That is, until, he happened to stumble upon my insert telling off a few other Reapers who were fucking off and bothering people. One decided to push them out of the way and he saw them absolutely flip the guy with a shoulder throw.

Ever since, he's been egging her on trying to get her to fight him to measure her strength. Usually, it's the same "Come fight me" spiel as he eventually ends up tracking her down while she's doing assignments. But sometimes, he'll pluck him right up and just starts walking away.

It's a common sight to see my insert thrown over Ken.pachi's shoulder, asking people passing by if they could finish her assignment for her or trying to reason with him that she has no time to fight and she doesn't like fighting Reapers unless she absolutely has to.

Eventually, I give in and allow him one fight. Just so he could satisfy his curiosity. They get their ass beat but they had so much fun regardless! Who knew this was a great way to release pent up energy (especially if your opponent can take a hit and encourages stronger throws)?

Yes, now play fighting and sparring are a love language

Outside of the sparring, Ken.pachi still absolutely picks up my insert and takes them wherever. Yac.hiru wants to go to a festival in one of the districts? Come on, we're going. You really don't wanna do your assignments for today? Shit's boring anyways, let's find something interesting. Just standing there doing nothing? You should be doing nothing with me, we're heading to Squ.ad 11's barracks.

Yac.hiru took some time in learning to share Ken.pachi. Her and my insert really do like each other but it's different when the other person is getting close to your father in a romantic sense and no one has ever done that before.

There was, and still is, a lot of face pinching when it comes to chilling on Ken's shoulders at the same time and practical pranks. But it's all in good fun!

My crush almost got exposed by a drunken Ran.giku. My insert had gone out to hang with her, Mo.mo, Izu.ru, Nan.ao, Shū.hei, & Ren.ji and the topic of crushes came up. After a little prodding, he finally fested up and in all of her drunken, brave glory Ran.giku yells, "YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH CAPTAIN ZARA-" before Nan.ao promptly slapped her hand over her mouth. And as luck would have it, Ken.pachi and a few of his squad members rounded the corner to their table moments later. My insert spent the next week in anxiety hell, wondering if he heard any of that.

Even though they get an "official" relationship confirmation before he heads into Las No. ches, my insert and Ken.pachi have been together for a long time. They shared a handful of romantic moments and kisses between them. They just never had a word for it.

I was too nervous to ever bring up the "What are we?" question and he's just someone who doesn't think about labels. It's not that he's noncommital, he just never had any doubts about our relationship and thought that a label was never needed for us to be established. It's sort of like this,

Me: "I don't know what this is! Is this just a fling for him, am I the only one who's crushing hard, or does he feel the same? Ugh, I wish I knew what he's thinking!"

Ken.pachi: "Of course we're together. We've been in love for years, why else would I constantly seek them out everyday? They're mine and I'm theirs. Simple as that."

They get married 2 or 3 years after TTY.BW arc. They understand that that situation was rough on both of them, especially Ken.pachi, and my insert wanted to give him enough time to heal.

They have 6 kids including Yac.hiru. LISTEN, I KNOW THAT'S A LOT FBFUGJTHG It started off as a joke between me and my friend but then we started making headcanons and it sort of solidified itself? Fntuhh

[rennsdeaddoves]

Fanfic Summary List

ight here we go, the colour of the name is an indecation of the rating, if you need a refresher go to my pinned post.

all of the summaries are under the cut (cause this post got way long) enjoy going through them and seeing what my muddle singular cell'd brain has come up with!

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Let Me Give the Wold to You - Dragon Ball Super

Beerus x adopted dauhter oc (we love a good found family)

Summary; was it a blessing or a curse that led all of them to this? Chance or fate that made Zeno decree all destroyers should have children of their own after Goku took Goten to them. Because whether or not Beerus and Whis know it, they saved her life. 

Nishiyama Yume was one push away from death, she was balancing on that fine line waiting for the gust to blow her over, for her to rot six feet under. But it didn’t happen… she was taken away before it could, saved before the drugs could shut her down permanently. Shown compassion and nurtured as she should have been before the despair got to her. 

And now she brings life to the table, she’ll fight for what she has, or at the very least die trying but Beerus won’t let that happen. He’s fought too hard for her to leave him now, he doesn’t want this all to be a waste of time… or is it more than that?

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Queen Consort - Dragon Ball Z/Super

Freiza x oc that turns into vegeta x oc

oc is the daughter of King Cold's favourite concubine and allows her to have a child with a Sayian man of his choosing to make the perfect Concubine for his son. Freiza initially wants nothing to do with her but keeps her around cause his father asked then he realizes that maybe she is good for her intended purpose and a very toxic romance with Freiza starts. it isn't until the birth of their son Kuriza that she realizes something is very wrong when Freiza won't even let her see the child. she runs, and crashes on earth where she is found by Vegeta. things progress from there.

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This Never Ending Nightmare we must Call Life - Little Nightmares

Thin man X oc

Summary; the Maw was where they lived and where they were supposed to die. But fate had another idea and kept one alive. Those on the Maw named her Key as they thought she was the key to saving them all from this twisted world. However, a strange signal pulses in her head and she is drawn to the land, heading for a place with towering buildings and pale skies;

Key makes a journey that should have never been made in the first place. 

if you like gaslighting this is the fic for you.

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We Say When We've Run Out of Time - The Incredibles

Syndrom (Buddy Pine) X OC

no summary for it yet, but we have Amnisa, strangers - friends - lovers, and all that good stuff (including child experimentation!)

basically oc is a goverment project aiming at bringing back supers but she manages to escape only to lose her memory and end up washed up on Syndrom's island where he then takes her in.

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Rising to Our Fate - Princess Mononoke

Ashitaka x oc (yes I age him up)

Summary; working on it

basically there is a second Emishi settlement, one that has a princess. this princess is paired with Ashitaka and when nago comes she banishes herself with her husband  

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Let Me Go - It (2017)

Pennywise x OC

don't got a summary for this one but basically, back when Derry was first a settlement a group of boys tried to kill it but failed. one of the boys sisters came into its abode to check for her brother but instead all she found was thing fading ball of light.

turns out the dead lights split and reproduced after this latest feast but some were incredibly weak and regurgitated from the form. this dying dead light found this girl and made her its host.

now hundred of years later she returns to Derry Main to see what is calling to her.

(basically i just summoned all my monster fucker energy to put into this one cause we got some fucked up smut in this)

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Lies on your Tongue, Poison in My Blood - Halloween

Micheal Myers x OC

Summary; they were friends before the incident, then she forgot somehow, forgot him, them, their promise, Haddonfield, everything. But somehow she turns up in the Sanitarium, with him… 

He would remind her, whether she wanted to remember or not, he would make her remember, she needed to. So Micheal took her, and now they're both on the run and wanted.   

Micheal has a childhood friend who ends up at smiths grove too just without her memory and he takes her away. just some cute stalker / yandere behaviour here!

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Wait No Longer - Cult of the Lamb

Narinder (the one who waits) x oc

no summary, however! oc is a child of the sky (this will make sense when i explain later) she falls into Narinders domain and he finds that she actually can't die, she is untouchable by him. so he keeps her around and that about as far as i got! i just no that cute shit happens in this!!

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Determination of the Forsaken - Kung Fu Panda

Tai Lung x OC

oc is a celestial dragon of the zodiac, she falls from the heavens and loses her divine memory. Oogway finds her takes her in and teaches her.

even though this is a pretty old story (as in its been in the works for a while) that about all i got on it (srry)

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Queen's Reign - Solo Leveling

Baek Yoon-Ho x OC

Summary; Getting an E-ranking is sometimes called a blessing in disguise. Sure you won't make as much money or really be noticed but you still have the options that other hunters do. Go Ha-rin knows these options all too well and has decided to take a quiet office position at the White Tigers guild taking on the occasional E or D-rank dungeons with her closest friend Sung Jin-Woo. 

When Ha-rin finally meets the guild master by accident she realizes that it was her old high school crush, suddenly a lot of feelings are returning and she sets her sights on finally getting that date she promised herself all those years ago. 

Though, while she is pursuing love, something continues to brew in both the shadows and the light. Will Ha-rin be ready for what is coming? Can she handle the power required? 

guys solo leveling is amazing go and read it, especially for the beefy tiger man pls

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And No One Saw it Coming - Puss in boots the last wish

Death x Oc

Summary; Kitty and Perrito get to Puss while he is still stuck in the cave of souls, while death still hunts him down like a cat would a mouse, or a wolf would a cat. 

In the ensuing scuffle, the three find out that even Death can have a wish, when Goldie and Jack are dealt with, they actively seek Death out and ask if they can somehow help grant his wish. If they can help find who he longs to see again. 

Of course, Lobo scoffs at them. He’s a very busy wolf and doesn’t have the time for this, but something in the back of his mind won't stop gnawing at him and eventually, he caves, Accepting the tabi’s offer for help. 

i add some stuff, give lobo some siblings and a lot of family drama, and puss is still puss.

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Memories of Gold - genshin impact

this one is actually already up on my a03 so if your interested check it out here

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There are no Strings on Me - Genshin Impact

Scaramouch x Oc

Summary; puppets are controlled by strings attached to their joints. Everything about them is under the control of the puppet master. 

But what happens when the one discarded by their creator, meets the one that was set free with no knowledge of the world? 

Is his need to protect her an obligation or a cry for something he wishes he had when he was let go, someone that would have guided him through the world and taught him what needed to be taught? 

its been so long since i actually worked on this one, all i remember was that it was angsty as FUCK

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Frost Born - Genshin Impact

Il Dottore x OC

Summary; Life is maddening. So Il Dottore decided he’d be one step ahead of life by being even more unpredictable, it’s worked so far. Or so he likes to think it has anyway. 

But how long can he keep up before he breaks into pieces?   

Life is punishing. So Aleksandra decided that she would keep her head down and bend to anyone so she didn’t get hurt any more than she had to. Though it never worked. 

How long could she keep living like a rat?  

so i started writing this when all i had to go off of was webttore, so its been through some workshoping ever since Sumeru.

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Drown Me in that Deep Abyss - Black Panther / Wakanda Forever

Namore x OC

another with no summary, but oc is a mutant, her mutation is that when her body is immersed in water she becomes a siren and she needs to feed on blood to sustain herself properly. her mother was a wakandan spy but quit cause of her father so she goes to her mother's home in an exchange program being done at Professor X school and gets taken in by the royal family.

[wiltingredroses]

Venomous: An Extreme Horror Novella Chapter 3: Depraved

Warning: The story ramps up considerably in terms of explicit content from here on out. This chapter in particular contains graphic depictions of torture, sexual violence, and death. This is where the "extreme" part of extreme horror comes in. Proceed with caution, and don't say I didn't warn you.

I sit atop my suitcase outside the garage. The previous night had been blissfully uneventful. We spent the past twenty-two hours shut inside a shitty motel room, watching garbage television until our brains had started to rot. The place was a huge downgrade from our previous accommodations. Thankfully, while outdated and dingy, the room appeared to be free of pests and mold, which is more than could be said about some of the places we've stayed in in the past.

There is nowhere to go in a town like this, thus nowhere for Evelyn to find a victim. Besides, I had reminded her that we need to keep a low profile until we are no longer driving a truck that is easily identifiable as belonging to a murder victim.

A truck pulls out of the garage and drives up next to me. The blue paint underneath had been hastily- and poorly- covered up alongside some other superficial aesthetic changes. Most importantly, the license plate had been swapped. We will still need to get rid of it at the first opportunity, but it should get us to the nearest city without arising suspicion.

"Hey pretty lady. You wanna go for a ride?" Evelyn calls out from the window, honking the horn as she does so.

I roll my eyes at her antics.

"Shut up and help me load the truck."

Just like that, we're on the road again with all of our worldly possessions in the back of the truck. One of the things I've grown to hate most about our lifestyle is how light we have to travel. I have three dresses, one pajama set, and two pairs of shoes in my bag. It's all I can afford to carry, given how we might have to pack up and skip town at any given moment. It would be nice to have a safe house of some kind, just so we have somewhere to put our things instead of tossing them when the load gets too heavy. Just, somewhere, anywhere, that we could return to.

I glance at Evelyn. She doesn't have a care in the world. She never does.

-

Just over two hours later we find ourselves seated at the end of a hotel bar. It had taken a considerable amount of makeup to make myself presentable enough to be seen by the general public. I'm nursing my fruity pink cocktail while Evelyn downs her third vodka and Redbull. I can't help but wonder if we can really do this forever. Evelyn could. I'm sure of that. What about me though? I find myself feeling perpetually exhausted these days. We never seem to stop long enough for me to fully rest. Our lives are nothing but murder, mayhem, partying and running. Is a relaxing day at the beach too much to ask for? Well, night at the beach anyway.

“Maeve, are you even listening?” I snap out of my thoughts and realize Evelyn has been having a one-sided conversation while I've been in my own little world.

“Sorry, I'm just tired. What were you saying?”

“That couple over there has been checking us out since we got here.” She says, tilting her head towards the pair at the other end of the bar. I look over just in time to catch the woman's eyes. She smiles and gives me a little wave before whispering to her partner. Evelyn leans in close, pulling down her sunglasses as she does so.

“So... how about it?”

“There's no way you're thirsty already.”

“This one will just be for fun.”

“It's too risky. The hotel staff will be able to identify us.”

“C'mon. We're in disguise, paid in cash, and used fake Ids. They'll have nothing to go on.”

Before I can voice any more concerns, the couple begins to approach us. I guess this is happening after all, regardless of my input. It seems that one night without bloodshed is asking too much.

“Good evening ladies. My wife and I couldn't help but notice you two across the bar. Do you mind if we buy you a drink?” The man asks.

I look the two of them over, cautiously. They aren't bad looking, especially by swinger standards. The woman appears to be in her mid thirties while the man is a few years older. They are both in good shape, clearly having found time to hit the gym. She has long, straight blonde hair tied up in a high ponytail. She wears a little black dress and strappy black heels. He has brown hair that is in the early stages of graying. He wears an expensive looking suit and an even more expensive looking watch. It looks like we hit the jackpot with these two. If nothing else, this would guarantee us financial security for the foreseeable future.

Evelyn grins at me before turning to the couple.

“Not at all.”

-

Several drinks later, the four of us stumble into the couple's hotel room. We had not bothered to learn each other's names. Evelyn and the wife are already all over each other. They fall back onto the bed, their hands exploring each other's bodies. The husband takes a seat on the coach opposite the bed, too occupied with watching them to pay me any mind.

I stand awkwardly by the door, uncertain of what to do. I've never been very good at this part. I really wish Evelyn had taken the husband instead. I know my way around women fairly well, but I always feel uncomfortable in the presence of men.

To my great displeasure, the man catches my eye and beckons me over. I gather myself. I shove down all feelings anxiety, save for a little bit. I have to look a little nervous to make my part convincing. We both have a role to play. Evelyn is the confident, aggressive one. She's done this so many times before she's lost count. I'm the timid, inexperienced one. I've never done anything like this before.

I walk over to join the man on the couch. Before I can sit down, the man wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me onto his lap. I seize up at the sudden invasion of my personal space. The man either does not notice or does not care. Before I can speak, he places his mouth on mine, silencing any protests I might have. His hand travels to my backside and grips it forcefully. I am not enjoying this. Every touch makes me feel dirty. With every fiber of my being I want it to stop.

He removes his mouth and I have a moment of reprieve. That is, until his teeth graze my collarbone. Panicked, I look over to Evelyn. She doesn't seem to notice my plight, completely engrossed in her prey. I would be jealous if I didn't know what was coming. He bites down, hard. I lose my composure.

“Ow! Stop!” I shout as I attempt to pull away. Evelyn finally looks up.

“I don't think my friend is having fun.” She says. Her words are calm, but I can see the fury in her eyes. The man lets go of me.

“Too bad for her.” He replies. In one swift motion, I find myself lying on my back with the man looming over me. Again, I try to wriggle my way out of his grasp. He pins my wrists above my head with one hand, while the other digs into his pocket. His large hand holds my wrists in place with ease. No amount of struggling will make him budge. I try, regardless, but he only holds them tighter. It is then that I notice what he pulled out of his pocket.

A knife. A small one, but a knife nonetheless. It dawns on me that this encounter was never meant to be consensual. I look to Evelyn, begging her to skip to the end already. She however, just watches. She watches the man in the same manner that he watched the two of them. She almost seems to enjoy it. The women grins. She's in on this too. They've done this before, maybe as many times as we have.

“Now, this isn't going to be fun for you, but if you behave like good little girls you'll make it out of this alive. Which one of you wants to go first?” The man says, twirling the knife in his hand.

“Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events? I'm sorry to say, but you've picked the wrong victims this time. You'll be nothing but a pair of rotting corpses by morning.” Evelyn purrs. Before the man can even register the threat, she has her fangs deep into his wife's neck. She drops onto the bed, alive but unable to move.

“Vanessa? Vanessa! What did you do to her?” He shouts, releasing my wrists and leaping off the couch. The knife in his hand does little to protect him as he meets the same fate. Evelyn looks more excited than I've seen her in a long while. “Oh I knew this was going to be fun.”

-

It has been several hours since Evelyn had overpowered the couple. We have since tied them up and raided their room. I was right. We hit the mother lode with these two. I wanted to kill them and be done with it, but Evelyn wants them wide awake for what she has planned for them. We have occupied ourselves with emptying the mini bar while waiting for the venom to wear off. It's not like it's going on our bill, after all.

She is lying next to the woman on the bed, while I sit in the armchair in the corner, seething. Evelyn is so eager for what is to come that she didn't seem to notice that I am absolutely pissed. I can't believe that she allowed that man to touch me like he did. She could have put a stop to it immediately, but she was too absorbed in the foreplay to even notice. We would be having a conversation later, but right now I just want to drink myself stupid and forget what happened.

“It looks like they're finally waking up.” I say, noticing the husband had begun to stir. Evelyn sits up with a look on her face like a child on Christmas morning. She springs up off the bed and practically skips over to the couch where the husband is tied up. She grabs him by the hair and smacks him across the face.

“Wakey wakey! You don't want to sleep through the best part, do you?” She sings. His eyes snap open and he tries to say something, but the gag prevents him from doing so.

“Now, I know you like to watch, so I'm going to do your wife first.” She says. He struggles against his bindings, but it is no use. I may not be very useful when it comes to the actual killings, but my knot tying skills are top notch. Unlike Evelyn, I actually paid attention in scouts.

She returns to the woman on the bed, ignoring the man's muffled protests. She is lying on her back, tied up by her wrists and ankles. She is still out of it, but Evelyn has grown tired of waiting. She climbs on top of the wife, straddling her legs. She turns to the husband and flashes him his own knife.

“I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed your knife. It's a bit small for my taste, but it will do the trick. For this part, anyway.” He struggles some more and grunts something unintelligible. Evelyn pays him no mind, however. She takes the knife and cuts the women's dress down the middle. She rips it open, exposing her bare breasts and stomach.

She traces patterns on her skin with the knife, twisting and twirling, but not hard enough to cut. She teases the woman like this for several minutes before finally piercing the skin, making a small cut along her ribs. The wife comes to life, gasping from behind the gag. Evelyn smiles and slices her flesh again, a little deeper this time. Blood trickles onto the bedspread as the woman cries out. The husband struggles harder, more desperately in a vain attempt to rescue his wife. She makes a few more cuts, a little deeper each time. She carves something betwixt the woman's breasts, though I cannot see what it is from this angle. When she finishes, she beckons me over. I roll my eyes and reluctantly raise from my chair. I stumble slightly on my way to her, obviously far more intoxicated than I had previously thought.

A heart.

“How original.” I say, flatly.

“Grumpy tonight, are we?” She says. I narrow my eyes in response.

“Would you hurry up? It's almost four in the morning.”

“Let me have my fun. I promise this will be the last one for while. I just need to get it out of my system.” She says. I've heard that one before but, I don't bother arguing. I might as well wait this out. I'm starting to get really tired though.

Feeling a sudden wave of dizziness, I drop to my knees on the floor, resting my head on the mattress. I can see the woman's face up close now. Tears stream down her face, and I feel nothing but disgust.

The nerve of her, to cry while receiving her comeuppance, after what she and her husband had planned for us. How many young girls have come before us? I may not be a good person, but I'm better than her. Sure, we have the same role: sit idly by while our significant other commits atrocities beyond the comprehension of civilized people, but I would never allow Evelyn to that to an innocent person. Rapists are below even people as despicable as us.

Evelyn drops the knife onto the bed, having grown bored and desiring a new toy. She glances around for inspiration, until her eyes land on the husband once again. She saunters over to him. He hasn't given up yet, continuing to fight against the ropes that bind him. Her hands go to his hips and she begins undoing his belt. I raise an eyebrow. Just what is she planning?

She slips the belt out of his pants and, satisfied with her new toy, joins us back on the bed. She takes the belt and raises it above the women's body. She turns to me.

“You might want to move out of the way. I can't guarantee you won't get caught in the crossfire.” I oblige, and, too dizzy to stand up, choose to lay on the floor. I try not to think about how filthy the carpet must be as I stare up at the ceiling.

I see the belt come down. I hear the woman's muffled scream. I watch Evelyn do it again. And again. And again. Blood sprays the walls and ceiling every time she brings the belt down. The woman cries out with every strike.

“Stop being a baby. We found your stash. This is nothing compared to what you had in mind.” She chides.

An overturned suitcase lays on the floor; toys, tools, and implements spilling out. Amongst it all was a camera filled with photos of their past exploits: all young women and girls, some looking to be as young as fourteen. What we saw in those photos rivaled anything we ourselves have done before. At least Evelyn has an excuse, being a literal monster and all. These people are just sick in the head. They are the rare deserving ones.

It is quiet for a moment. Evelyn has stopped hitting her. All I can hear is a gurgling sound. I sit up, resting my head on the bed's surface once again. She has the belt wrapped around the woman's throat and is pulling it like a leash. She pulls and holds it just long enough for her to almost lose consciousness before letting go. She allows her just a few moments of relief before doing it all over again. After a few rounds of this, she once again grows bored. She picks up the man's knife once again.

“Hmm hmm hmmm...” She hums to herself as she once again raises the knife toward the woman. I wince and look away as she brings the blade to the woman's right nipple. She wails, louder and more desperate than ever. I close my eyes tight, and feel nausea building in my stomach. I don't need the visuals to be revolted. Eventually the screaming stops, replaced with hopeless sobs. I open my eyes and immediately regret it, seeing the open wounds where her nipples used to be. I put my hand to my mouth and just barely hold back the urge to vomit.

“Okay, I've just about had my fun with you. Time for the graaaand finale!” She sings, dropping the knife once again. She goes to the suitcase on the floor and digs through it for a moment.

“Aha! Now this is what I'm talking about!” She exclaims as she pulls a hunting knife the size of her forearm from the suitcase. She jumps back on the bed, eager to finish the show. She uses the knife to cut the woman's underwear from her body. It didn't show much resistance, given how little material there actually was.

I don't register what Evelyn has in mind until it is far too late. She cuts one of the ropes and raises the woman's left leg in the air, putting her delicate bits on full display. She places the knife at her vaginal opening, and before I can voice any protests, she plunges it inside. I don't even hear the woman's screams at that point. My eyes are fixed on what is happening before me, unable to look away no matter how badly I want to. She pulls the knife out. It is slick with blood. She penetrates her again, and again, rhythmically. It is slow and steady like she is making love to her, rather than killing her in the most cruel and depraved manner humanly possible. I can hear Evelyn moaning as she does so, lost in ecstasy. Blood pours from the gaping wound between her legs, thoroughly soaking the bed.

The vomit I had previously suppressed begins to find it's way back up. I stand and run to bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet in time. Bottled coffee and fruity pink cocktail spew from my mouth and splash against the porcelain. I'm suddenly grateful for not having eaten solid food since yesterday. I retch a few more times but nothing else comes out. I tune out all noise from the other room and focus on my own breathing. I lay down on the cool tile floor, praying for the room to stop spinning.

-

I must have passed out, as the next thing I know Evelyn is gently rousing me from my slumber. I open my eyes to see her crouched over me. Her hair is dripping wet and she is wearing different clothes than she had been before.

“It's time to move baby. The sun is coming up soon.”

She helps me to my feet. I notice the mess I had made has been cleaned up. The pinkish tan vomit that had painted the toilet has been scrubbed away. My face has been wiped clean and I notice several wet spots on my dress where puke stains had been before.

She guides me out of the bathroom and I nearly hurl again as the stench of the room hits my nostrils. The smell of blood, urine, and feces mingle together and hang in the air like a thick fog. I can't help but glimpse at her handiwork. Blood covers every inch of the room; splattered on every surface and soaked into the carpet and furniture. The woman is mercifully deceased, her legs spread wide exposing the mangled flesh that was once her genitalia. Her body is painted with purple bruises and red gashes. The man had gotten the same treatment, though thankfully I wasn't around to see it. He is bent over the arm of the couch, pants around his ankles, the same knife used to mutilate his wife sticking out of his rectum. His severed penis is now laying on the floor, leaving only a bloody stump where it had been previously. I wondered if she had finished them off, or simply left them to bleed to death while she cleaned up.

A suitcase sits by the door. I can only imagine it is stuffed with stolen items. She props open the door with her foot and picks it up with one hand, guiding me with the other. She makes sure to flip the door sign to “Do Not Disturb” before letting it shut behind us. The two of them mentioned they would be staying for several more nights, meaning housekeeping wouldn't find them for a few days at least. We will be states away by then.

I am horrified. Disgusted. It has never gone this far before. Murder and torture are one thing. That was... something else entirely. I can't say they didn't deserve it. They were equally as monstrous as Evelyn. Surely, the world is a better place without them in it. But knowing Evelyn is capable of something so depraved... sickens me. I can't even look at her.

“Careful. You never have been good at knowing your limits, have you?” Evelyn says, catching me with ease after I stumble entering the elevator. I can't believe that sweet, loving voice belongs to the same woman that raped a married couple with a hunting knife to death not even an hour prior.

I fear what the love of my life has become. I fear what I have become by enabling her. Am I really any different than that woman after all?

[agoddammharpoon]

OK I'm going to keep this as spoiler free as possible BUT WARNING FOR POSSIBLE SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 39 ONWARDS 💥💥💥💥💥 also this is all probably nonsense but I needed to share my theories because the brain rot this season is real.

I know the voice we heard wasn't obviously a character we already know but I really think it might be. I have multiple reasons for this-

This season has leant into the time travel element of the diner more than any other. The BertBert episode happening at such close proximity to the main plot compared with the length of time between Leif's timeline with Bertbert. The disparity between how long it had been for the sisters compared with Caspar. The timelines they are a broken and I think this leaves it open for anything timeywimey to happen at this point.

Why OUR diner?? Why is this the only one that seems to have been targeted in this way when we know there is a franchise out there?? Of course there might be others in other universes but this does all feel very PERSONAL

I am suspicious as hell about the sisters dad (his name has fully escaped me???) PARTICULARLY Leif's reaction to it being so suspicious as he essentially just shrugged and went 'probably not real' without much thought into what the truth would be!? Which is super unlike him...I'm really hoping we get to the bottom of this and it is some how connected to the Benefactor because this all seems to weird and unconfirmed to be a throw away thing. From the moment we heard of this guy, who jumps from planet to planet essentially doing good things but in a weird way and then sleeping with lots of people, I thought -'Heh that would be funny if it somehow ended up being Leif' and I CANNOT NOW SHAKE THIS THOUGHT and the IMPLICATIONS. I also feel like Leif is heading somewhere and this season as well as Young Leif and Welcome to the Horizon has really brought out a lot of the darker elements of his character which is INTERESTING

Then David.

And here's where i want to cry a little

But in essence. David has been described as an angry kid who is too smart for his own good. And sure we've seen some of that from him but he's all been relatively chill? But what if this didn't play out as well in an alternative universe?? What if this angry too smart kid somehow got angrier and smarter? Perhaps in a universe where is mum is also very angry and very smart and created an all poweful time-travelling dimension hopping robot designed to hunt down a very specific person at one particular diner...?

Tldr- I think the Benefactor is either Leif or David and both of these would be amazing but also heartbreaking.

I have CONCERNS about the Benefactor and possible identities and I need to scream at somebody about it...

[iwannawritelots]

Love

Originally written February 2022

Ship(s): Mammon X Lord Diavolo

Trigger/content warnings: Mammon briefly calling himself “used goods”, mention of being scared to have sexual intimacy previously

Headcanons/notes from the author: trans Mammon headcanon used here. I wrote this when I literally couldn’t get Mammon X Lord Diavolo brain rot out of my head but then I didn’t even put it on tumblr somehow

Brief Blurb: Mammon and Lord Diavolo reassure each other of their love for one another before making love.

Quietly humming, Lord Diavolo straddled Mammon and tenderly cupped his cheeks. "My love, is this alright?"

"M-Mmhm..." A blush took over Mammon's cheeks as his fiancé brought their lips together. The kisses began soft, slowly turning into something rough and filled with lust. Mammon whimpered when Lord Diavolo bit his bottom lip and tugged on it. "D-Dia... that's..." he trailed off, blushing and gripping tightly onto his love's shoulders. "You're... You're beautiful, ya know?"

Chuckling, Diavolo released Mammon's lip from between his teeth and slowly kissed down his neck to his collar bone before resuming attention on his love's face. "Mammon, do you know that you're handsome?"

"I... O-Of course I know that...!" Mammon exclaimed, gripping his fiancé's biceps tightly in a sudden rush of nervousness. "I just... every time we're together I wish I had more courage than I do to tell ya I think you're beautiful..." He pecked Lord Diavolo's lips, then gave him bunny kisses before pressing their foreheads together. "I get so nervous, even though we've been together so long 'n' we're literally engaged..."

"Well, I suppose it would be difficult to, considering at first you were just my sugar baby..." Lord Diavolo pulled Mammon closer, running his hands down his back. "Which, in hindsight... we never should have done such a thing. You don't deserve that."

"I agreed to it, Dia."

"That doesn't change how it impacted our relationship, and how people will see our relationship." Lord Diavolo ran his fingers through Mammon's hair, loving how it seemed to cling to his touch. "I know the latter shouldn't matter as much, but that might end up hurting you, especially with how Lucifer feels about us being together."

Mammon shushed him, then sighed and closed his eyes. "We don't have to worry about it all right now, do we? I know I love ya. Lucifer can cram it."

An amused hum left Lord Diavolo as he nuzzled into Mammon's neck. "You're right," he muttered, leaving fluttering kisses on his skin. "I love you so much, Mammon." A small giggle escaped Mammon when the kisses tickled, and Lord Diavolo mumbled small praises as he brought his lips ever lower. "I hope you know that I love you."

"Well... do you know that I love ya?" asked Mammon softly, pulling himself away slightly so he could take off his shirt. "I really try to be good about makin' sure ya know I love you."

"Don't dodge my question." Lord Diavolo carefully ran his fingers over Mammon's top surgery scars. "I know you struggle with accepting love, I won't be upset if your answer isn't yes."

Face flushing, Mammon looked away from his fiancé for a moment, figuring out how to phrase his thoughts. "It's... difficult. Most of the time I do know it. I know you love me... but sometimes I jus' doubt it..." he mumbled the last part, feeling ashamed. "I used to think I was unloveable... I still do, sometimes... I mean, I'm... used goods..."

"Mammon, you are not any less important or deserving of love than anyone else." Lord Diavolo kissed him, gently rubbing his thumbs over Mammon's pecs. "I love you."

"I love ya too, so much..." Mammon mumbled against his lips, squeezing his eyes shut in retaliation for his slowly forming tears. "I love ya so much. I love you, Diavolo."

Lord Diavolo carefully adjusted his position on Mammon, then ran his fingers down his fiancé's sides. "I love you very much, Mammon." He took off his own shirt, then gently interlocked his fingers together behind Mammon's neck, taking the opportunity to observe his face. "I'd love you no matter what, so if you're having doubts, you can always talk to me."

"I'll try my best." Mammon carefully leaned closer to Lord Diavolo, then kissed down his chest, letting his hands wander along his body. "Do ya want me to do anythin' specific?"

"I don't think you should let me be in control just yet." Lord Diavolo played with Mammon's white curls, not wanting to come off as overly worried. "We have a safe word, but still..."

"I don't feel scared wit' ya," Mammon told him between kisses to his chest and stomach. "Ya should be in control for once."

Chuckling, Lord Diavolo carefully gripped Mammon's jaw and made him meet his gaze. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't say it if—"

"Mammon." Lord Diavolo gave him a stern expression, but was careful to not be scary with it. "I'm serious."

"I promise, I'm sure."

"If you're sure..." Lord Diavolo gave him a soft smile, then pressed him onto his back. "You will use the safe word if you need to, right...?"

"I will, I promise."

reblog divider

[stormcrow513]

Hagging Out- Semtember 2022- Hand Baskets

@graveyarddirt

So as some of you know this month went off the rails on me almost immediately, with my cat Shy passing on the 8th, which is the day after my oldest sister who died birthday, and also childhood trauma, September fucking sucks for me already, so I tried my best to occupy myself with #haggingout but well this probably won't be my best entry just heads up going in, also I wanted to do a separate Autumn Equanox post but lost the spoons so I'm Hulk smashing em together hope that's alright Dirty

It was appropriately overcast on the Equinox this year, also check out my nails I've never had em this long before (I chewer) and this weeks the fist time I've painted em since I was like fourteen! Having em long was helping me detangle Shys fur, she also liked me runing em across her head, so I was motivated to not chew, I couldn't cut em or chew em right after she died so the other day I decided to paint em for spooky season, funnily the last time I painted they were probably black to,

I didn't do to much for the Autumn Equinox this year I was having a pretty bad brain day so I did offerings to the land, to the Horae (the seasons), to the Anemoi(the winds) asking for a wet winter, they've been to dry lately, and thanking them for the harvest I got/am getting,

that loaded backwards, but fuck it you get the idea, I gave oats and some tea that was starting to go bad, I figure rotting leaf juice is a good land offering, I also finished the last of my solstice/equinox working, I started December 2021 I finished September 2022, whew, and I almost forgot to do it too!

So while I still have some pumpkins on the vine mostly the harvest is winding down, here's my broom seeds!

The strawberries were in great form this year though if I'm honest there freaking me out a little, back you mangy vegetation! back I say!

And I'm so freaking proud of my broom this year, last year I only got a couple up, this year I got 20 sets of three seeds to come up, we did have an unfortunate bird attack so I had to rapidly cut the seeds down before I lost them,

Here's a shot before they'd all seeded and rippend, and then got mauled by evil little birds lol

honestly I think my backyard itself is my basket this year, I'm so amazed at the work ma and I have done to it, I told you all in my bed hagging out earlier it was struggling in the heat this year?

Well as soon as the temps dropped a bit the everything started blooming, the butterfly hit, and we've got like forty different bee species, I saw a fucking praying Mantus going up our lattice, my dudes I've NEVER seen one of those in nature! Also ma saw a fucking humming bird at our butterfly bush! Never seen that around here! Also also a humming brid mouth took residence here for like three weeks, I'd seen one up in the mountains once a few years ago got it on camera and was like the fuck is this, and it was so cool to have one just hanging around chillin on all the flowers and really liking the sunflowers that crop up every year,

This backyard was such a ugly waste land when we got here,

We'd moved in October 2017, I worked my ass off that first year getting all that wood bits off the ground to keep my dogs from cutting up there paws on it, there was also plastic crap under it and the dirt I pulled up, and there were these metal things around the rocks I had to get up also a paw slicing hazard, and don't even get me started on the fire pit, I went to move it thinking it was a ring with spikes pushed into the ground oh no these dumb fuckers varied a regular fucking big fire pit into the ground, anyway here she is now:

Only sad thing is the line tree died on us, there was a bad winter followed by fires near by that bolted out the sun a had a film of soot over everything, it tired but this extremely hot summer did her in,

All in all though while I can't fit my whole yard into my hand basket I've got broom and pumpkin etc and hopefully more next year!

I also was able to get a Hekate statue I've been wanting since last year! I spent all month praying over her while passing her through smoke,

And finally, with how upset Mittens has been with the loss of her sister ma and I after discussing and prayers to my Gods decided to go look for a companion for her, I found a pretty 4 month old kitten in a shelter nearby, we've been having her be a little apart so they can get used to each other and we've kept kitten in the bathroom at night, funnily enough we had a basket in there full of stuff and I walked in couldn't find her at first only to see she'd stuffed herself in it around the stuff, we ended up giving her a different basket cause she kept smacking her stomach on the hard rim and they'd recently fixed her, so ouchy stitches!

I've named her Circe, she's the third cat I've had whose name I plucked from Greek mythology

Does she count? She is in a basket, lol, also took me a bit to show y'all her cause I needed to get her added in to my protection spells,

actually does any of this count I had a little trouble trying to fit this one with where I'm at right now, anyway thank you for the challenge Dirty and for hosting these! Love to you dear♡

[crumble-system]

☣️ Nyx -im adding the previous tags but now we're home we can like do another reply that has more like brains

This was really sweet whoever sent this, especially for like things that have been going on that like nobody else knows but like this system.

note we're gonna ramble a shit ton so under the cut <3

🧯Conner - We always love asks like these, especially when we don't expect them. But this did cheer us up a good bit.

Especially because we've been bed rotting just a bit because the consequences of not having meds nor therapy rn while having gone through THE horrors of this and last year of having alot of our Hugest trauma of our adolescence just becoming raw again. [this is also why mockingjay, philly & blaze 2 EXIST]

which has led us to just remember alot of the struggles that led us here.

also the many fucking jumpscares (though like all of them went positively and the people who did accidentally jumpscare us have been the best of sports & have VASTLY outweighed the negative of the original terror from being spooked)

🎱Ribs - YEAH I've definely like been told actively by alot of people of how much we like bring light & warmth to our friends and acquaintances. which has helped alot at Not being as like unstable as we would've been elsewise with all the curveballs and twists.

ALSO getting back in contact with people we were worried abt contacting & missed, helped a fuck ton because they'll all been fuckin supportive as hell.

plus telling the one (aka the dude who came into our notes like "idk if u hate me but i miss you and worried abt you" while I WAS literally venting abt missing them & being worried abt them was funny ngl) that like, WOOPS I'm here bcs of you & them being supportive as they can but still learning as a singlet helped <33.

UHHH also like getting SUPER GENUINE love from the people who we were missing and got into contact into with helped A TON. also telling them all parts of the Why Man saga helped & getting like support for what the fuck that lil shit put us thru.

adding that said person whose why I fromed also like helped during what blaze is GONNA probs talk abt

🔥Blaze - ILY BABE (ribs)

OKAY so the person who caused ribs to form, unknowningly has kind of helped me a ton to be able to help the person who got ME to form.

Which like it felt so fucking GOOD being able to do what I did recently to help said person whose why I'm here. I FUCKING improved. I GREW and I CHANGED for THE BETTER.

it's like been so funny seeing like within like a year go from one of the most DISTRUSTED to be in front due to being much more of a Perseuctor/Perpetrator combo AND JUST. Very much ACTING out because nobody in this fuckin system was listening BCS our communication was SHIT.

TO being like one of the most trusted & seen as one of the better protectors & alters to deal with stressful convos and shit to de-escalate things when the going gets ROUGH.

THE PERSON who caused me to form I don't think they REALIZE fully yet that when I said "Yeah, I was actually there for that." I LITERALLY MEANT. I FORMED THERE. AND WE WERE THERE. AND THATS WHY. THAT MEME WAS SO TERRIFYING.

BUT YKNOW HOW IT GOES, I WAS KING. DID GET JUMPSCARED BY THE DUDE CONNER ALMOST WENT TO WHEN RIBS FORMED & WHEN I FORMED NOT TOO LONG AFTER NOT TOO LONG AFTER.

also got jumpscared by THE DUDE who let us into the server where I formed, like a week later... IT WAS just to say "there's a scammer in general" but now i get cursed to see that he's fucking playing roblox now. BCS discord thinks its funny.

so like I have been RIDING the high of helping the person who caused me to form and MAKING SAID PERSON LAUGH. BCS said PERSON deserves to HAVE A GOOD DAY.

☢️ Prodigy/(Doxie) - I AM only in front for a moment to reply to this as for understandable reasons the others dont want me in front rn, and i dont wanna be either

THO I love my friends who knew me when I was still bumbling around as a newbie & the ppl ive met after coming back in EARLY 2024.

we need therapy & meds, and i need to work on myself way more b4 I can be in front for extended periods of time and not at all rn.

🦀Pablo - IM also only in front to write my piece & then peace out because ya im working on my issues too.

the message was kind and love it! ty, me & prod are going back to work on ourselves.

(we are also still working on an apology, just NOT a good time for us to attempt that)

🍋 Gayle - Yeah we've kept moving forward despite everything that's happened in the past, or how much THIS year keeps testing our strength.

like oh my god, ribs, conner and blaze u mfers are so fucking strong. i COULD not do the shit those three have been doing.

i just kind of applaud those three for being brave because they want to protect their found family of friends. AND also being strong enough to talk thru issues and shit with others.

also thank them for helping me with all the FONT bullshit <3

🎃Skull - also thanking them for help w the FONT bullshit, and also ty blaze for not teasing me abt my source once u realized that I had a legit issue with it. and also making that whole party for everyone who looks like one of our abusers, that cheered me up a ton.

🍬Candy - yeah yeah thank you blaze for helping skull be more confident, and also for sitting with me when my other thing I am the holder of gets bad when skull isn't able to. & also like helping for when you blaze, ribs or conner notice when I'm starting that ..down that road..

also ty for the multiple white & blue/blue&white hater party in headspace ribs and blaze. that shit has been fun to work through all that shit.

🌟Philly - YEAH they (as in more the others, the G6 [2015-2019] gang specifically aka Conner, Ribs, Gayle, Prod, Blaze and Nyx) really were really touched by this.

I know they've been going thru a helluva time, it's kind of why I exist. beacuse of the whole, the person who caused ribs to form & the person who caused blaze to form literally jumpscared those guys by posting ACCIDENTAL jumpscares that were close enough TO said EVENTS that they both got worried.

which led to blaze 2 and me splitting off and yknow being here to curse y'all.

UHHH IDK what I have to say abt this because like.. I am sort of apathetic, and just NOT emotional. think like coping shit + like latching onto my source being specifically Philly in (CRAB MAN SERVER). which kind of got their emotions removed.

🧲Blaze 2 - <333 iDK WHAT 2 SAY MYSELF.

the others DID really well. BUT we have been celebrating our acomplishments, THO more like privately. because god i cannot tell any of yall how fucking much the others and generally the system want to be LOUD and PROUD for how far they've come

Along with HOW much they just wanna say HOW MUCH they love the ppl they consider friends OUTLOUD AND PUBLIC, THEYRE just very much dealing with RSD and BPD BEING BITCHES.

SO they've been subdueing themselves even more, even if they wanna do it. ALSO bcs they wanna respect ppls boundaries, it's why they're NOT saying CERTAIN NAMES. OF PPL THEY LOVE.

ribs though blaze classic is done making fun of your whole CLOWN ACT abt seeming like you hated ppl but in reality you genuinely missed them though weren't letting yourself say that bcs you did not want to seem weak and were dealing with paranoid of others trying to hurt them just to get to us.

im not, im saying it outloud MF. you don't get to just tell sweetfinlet abt it. GET EXPOSED FOR ALSO BEING A LOVER.

🐦Mockingjay - THEY'VE BEEN CELEBRATING A TON OF THEIR VICTORIES.

👑Waldemar- HELL YEAH handshake, im joining you im exposing blaze proper.

clarity abt the vents is that alot of reprocessing of old events had to happen because the censored person triggered alot of alters heavily enough that they regressed & Lost access to the Full truth of the past

Very much they had to process things in a way very similar the Psychonauts 2 Level, "Psi King's Sensorium"

With the whole Confirmation Bias, Law of association, Confabulations, and just the memories were twisted.

This person also Accidentally began to use alot of tactics that older abusers & toxic ex-friends would use on us in the past, as they were Way more dependent on us than we were on them and in a misguided effort for connection they attempted to make us more dependent on them.

(or at least we hope it was accidental, that's what we want to believe. despite it all.)

Also the censored name is not crab man bluzombie nor why man willie. It's censored as despite it all we don't want ppl to find nor attack that ex-friend, they're Not worth the effort.

THERE'S A BUNCH OF WIP POETRY THEY'VE BEEN DOING SINCE 2023 and HAVE working ON pUTING IN A VIDEO. TO SHOW THEY LOVE THEIR FRIENDS

ITS SAPPY AS SHIT. IDC IF THEY CALL ME HOMOPHONIC.

🎆Flare - (I WAS BLAZE 2 BEFORE THE OTHER ONE, BUT NO BLAZE LETS HIM BE BLAZE 2 BUT I HAVE TO BE FLARE IM STILL PISSED)

I'm stealing this from MJ but...

I LOVE THEM, BUT THEY'RE A MESS. THIS SYSTEM IS KIND OF MY FOUND FAMILY OF IDIOTS.

THEY'rE CRYING OVER ONE OF THE POETRY THEY ALL WROTE FOR THAT. THIS IS A NEWER ONE.

"As I always wanted as a kid, to hang with people ; friends to just

Talk together for hours, or just exist silent as we both do our own things

Go on adventures with

Dispell eachothers worries with

Be not just seen, but also accepted whole heartedly

...

And I've found those people

Even for some it took some time to realize they were still there"

🌤️Mr A - Everything eventually will be okay, and that's what keeps us going. Also spite. Alot of spite.

Love keeps us going more though, we are filled with love always.

🧃Sour - I AM still GETTING uzed 2 being here again, ESP with the huge party we GOT now. BUt yea this is sweeettt. felt like i should say somethin

🍐Wasabi - YEAH this is NICE. I like the ENERGY we've been getting, this is why I keep refusing to leave front BUT im too shy to talk to the nice ppl we've been around. </3. im still halted by these haunting memories but im getting stronger, I will be as annoying if not MORE annoying than the others. u hear me

🍾Sparkling - I don't front as much these days as I'm helping with headspace matters but <3 this was nice.

🌝Allie - I just wanted to :3333, i have nothing to actually add. I'm just a special uwu. i need attention.

🕹️First- idk im dancing. ik we need to do owed art but that's a tomorrow thing, we're still having a moment. they'll understand.

🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼

OUR REACTIONS TO THIS,

Never know how 2 react when ppl actually say love affirmations to us wholeheartedly but ty ty

ESP LIKE when we're in these depressive isolation episodes that we get in

Though we're getting better at dealing with em

[yostresswritinggirl]

I should be doing the RRL’s for my thesis and preparing for the oral defense rn but God damn am i brain rotting so hard rn. I still have all the brainrots i had from days ago and even new ones (I’m too hyperfixated on Al Ahmar and the Goddess of Flowers rn that all i can think about is the angst ) haunting me 24/7. But mother you, borg and cyno lovebot anon reading through your guys brainrots reminded me of some I had when I first read “What the heart offers.”

I think he'd even start to think that the reader finally caught up to the rumors and gossips, succumbed to the discrimination and started replacing him with the forest scholars oof the betrayal, the pain - confrontation with him as the student is FAR more aggressive than the slow burn on the original setup.

This was literally one of them, because I really thought that at the end of the story when the reader lost their memories, it meant that their whole memories of their time with Cyno.

But since I hadn’t thought of the half heart situation at that time, instead of him aggressively asking the reader, I just imagined that even though he wanted to approach the reader he couldn’t, for fear of hurting them again and the memories of their barely breathing body bloodied up inside the ruins would always haunt him.

The day of the accident, being the day he could confidently say was the day his life just basically fell apart, as from that day onward he lost the only person who made him feel loved and cared, the only person in the akademiya who was his pillar and his light against the dark gazes of the other scholars, but now all that was left now is someone who looks at him in distain for being a child born from the dessert

So even if it pained him he just slowly watched as the reader turn like everyone in the akademiya, leaving him all alone which wouldn’t be much of a difference from before he met the reader, but now there will forever be a hole in his heart (Ironically) where he could only fill it up with guilt for not being enough to protect them.

Bonus: Cyno would still be protective of the reader who even now unknowingly still has his beaten up heart in their grasps. That no matter how reader of today has changed to one who has turned to hate him, hate him all they want but that won’t change how his heart would only belong to them and only them. He would also occasionally visit them at night like how he visits collei, passing by just to check if they’re safe and sound and if there isn’t danger lurking near their home.

I’d love to add more to this brainrot but rn my brain is currently dead and I’m still gonna proceed to murder it further since I have yet to finish the thesis.

Also mother… since when… did we have a geovishap…?

- Lady in the lake anon

(P.S I’ve tried writing, technically still am since I’m a literary editor for my uni’s student publication, before and let’s just say the story was better written in my head)

Oh my goodness, the moment you mentioned those words, I immediately looked at my hardbound thesis and shuddered (I almost forgot it existed) I am still healing, please be mindful when talking about research /j

But hey goddamnit not again with yall brainrotting and not doing school shit, go away! On the other hand, if you need advice or questions, I'm here for that too!

(I've always been hyperfixated on the scarlet king and goddess of flowers since I heard of them, I need more of their lore gdi) It's so funny how What The Heart Offers pretty much transcended past the fic itself and now have so many versions, I'm starting to get confused of it myself haha

Glad we have the same brain but that's so mean, I can't possibly think of that myself hhh! But it's so true isn't it, actually much worse if the roles are reversed where he's the one with the memory loss, ughfhufhfh but geezus you're really tearing Cyno apart here come on skdbdoanwnajdo

Oh we've had a geovishap since long ago! Our primo geovishap is spiriteddreams haha

(nah you did fantastic shush!)

[hopefulstarfire]

In The Morning Light || BNHA Fic

Hi, I posted this a long time ago on an old account, p sure I deleted it, but anyways, I've been having brain rot about these two, so, I'm posting this. Have Toshinori and Allison confessing their feelings.

Toshinori stirs as the early light breaks through the curtains, the sounds of the morning traffic and birds chirping slowly beating through his ear. He lets out a soft grunt, closed eyes scrunching slightly as he shifts in the bed, turning his back to the window. And the arm around the warm body next to him pulls it closer to his chest on instinct. All was blissful that morning.

Wait.

Body?

It takes him a moment to process it, eyes squinting open to be sure, and he looks down at a wave of auburn hair, her face smushed against his chest. Oh. Oh. Oh!

The night before rushed back to his mind. Of the end of the year party at the beach. The loud music, the campfire, the dancing, the drinking. Laughter and loss of all cares with finals finally out of the way, and a kick off for Summer vacation.

♥♥♥

He'd left the party early. After a while the crowding felt to be too much for him and he found himself more captured by the sun setting in the horizon, past the waves, and the stars beginning to sparkle to life in the sky.

He'd walked out a great distance away from the party, towards the other side of the beach, letting the sounds of the water washing to shore and seagulls calls mute the music playing.

A whole year had passed since he'd left. Over a year since...since…

Well. That was still a subject that weighed too heavy on his heart to speak aloud. After this, he still had three years of college to complete. Three years to become a stronger hero before he could dream of returning to Japan.

Three years before he'd ever consider going back to be strong enough to fight him.

Would he even be ready? What if he never was? What if Nana had chosen the wrong successor to succeed her? Should he even have bothered leaving Japan? It felt cowardly, hiding out in another country, twiddling his thumbs while he tried to see if he'd ever be ready. All while he could strike again at any given moment, begin a new reign of tyranny that could overtake the country, and he --

And Toshinori would be powerless to stop him. To stop him from hurting the people he cared about. Gran Torino. His family. His old friends from school. There would be nothing stopping him from even spreading to the States, from targeting David, from targeting --

"Gorgeous sunset out here tonight."

Her.

Toshinori jumped a bit, startled at her sudden appearance, and oh he remembered how his heart raced. It always did whenever she was near, in the quiet moments they got to themselves. And oh, she had looked extra stunning that night in her blue, floral print dress, her hair curled towards the ends, and a shimmer in her eyeshadow drawing attention to those brown eyes he always found himself getting lost in.

A half smile tugged at her lips as she walked closer, arms crossed over her chest. "The party was starting to drag," she had continued. "Then I saw you'd snuck off and figured I'd see if you want the company."

He had paused, trying to let himself relax. The feelings had grown stronger and stronger all year. David had told him time and time again to just tell her. And it was all he could do not to just reach out for her and hold her close to him. He would swallow the lump in his throat, eyes going back towards the ocean. "Always."

She kept by his side, her own eyes staring out into the horizon. "Been a wild year, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So. We've got all Summer to wind down, besides doing our hero work," she slowly started. "What do you wanna do?"

He waited, before letting out a soft laugh. "You know, I haven't even really thought about it," he admitted. "Guess I've been so caught up with school and work, I...I didn't even remember we were getting a break."

There came a little snort of laughter. "Yeah. Honestly, I'm just glad I don't have to sit through another boring lecture for a while." A pause. She cleared her throat, turning to him. "What if we all go on vacation? Take, like, a week off from heroing -- you, me, David --  have the three of us just go camping or something."

"I...Alli, I can't. The city needs me there's..." Words had echoed through his head, all reminding him of what could happen. Of what could be if he didn't keep working at this. "The Symbol of Peace can't take a vacation."

She'd given him a pointed look, lips tugging into a frown, as she directed him to look at her, tugging gently on his arm and his cheeks were flushing. From the touch, from the alcohol he'd probably had a little too much of, from everything. "Toshi," she said and his first name on her lips still took his breath away. "The Symbol of Peace can't just work himself to death either. You deserve to have some R&R too, y'know."

His blue eyes had taken her all in, and his head bowed after a long moment. "Taking tonight as a break is still too much. If I...if I go away too long, if I'm not constantly at my best and on guard..."

"...You think everything will fall apart. Or that You Know Who will pop back up." And she always knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I can't risk it."

"If he was going to start trying to take over the world, he would have done it after you left Japan. Or he would have already come for you."

"Because he knows I still have One for All," he argued. "And that I'm actively working all the time. If I even relax for more than just a night, if I don't keep constant vigil on everything--"

"The world isn't going to fall apart if you take a break--"

"We don't know that--"

"Toshinori, you can't keep putting this pressure on yourself--"

"Somebody has to carry this burden. If I don't--"

"What, Toshi? What do you think is going to happen that's so bad, that you have to work yourself to death?"

"I could lose you!"

He hadn't expected to say it as loud as he did, or even at all. And there was a regret that built in the pit of his stomach as her brown eyes stared up at him in shock. "Toshi...?"

He didn't know why he kept talking, even as his brain screamed for him to just shut up. "I've seen what can happen. I already lost my master because of him, and I was powerless to stop him. Being sent here made me feel I was taking a cowards way out instead of facing him head on, like I'm not good enough to defeat him and I don't know if I ever will be. But you...you were the best part about being here. You and Dave are the best friends I could ask for, yeah, and it would kill me if anything happened to either of you. Especially because of me. And especially if it was you, because I..."

The words had stumbled from his lips so quietly he didn't think she could hear them, and he couldn't raise his voice. Panic had sent flashing warning lights and alarms in his head and the instinct was to run because, great, he had probably just ruined everything--

Until her hands grabbed his shirt and she pulled him down to meet her in a passionate kiss, and oh how he had melted. His heart sang as she repeated back the words, louder than he could have ever mustered, and so unshakably sure.

The rest of that night hadn't led to much words beyond repetitions of those three little words, and of each others names (and maybe breaths of obscenities during some parts of it), but that only served to help make it the best night of his entire life.

♥♥♥

Now here they were, tangled up in the sheets of his bed in the early light, that pretty dress and his button up and jeans all strewn about the room. And her pressed up against him, head to his chest with her hands right by her, and his arms now wrapping a bit tighter around her.

His hand reached down to smooth out her auburn hair, almost as if to make sure with a soft touch that it wasn't all just a dream, and to his delight, there she really was.

For him, he didn't want the world to even think about moving again. This could last forever and he'd be just as fine with that.

But his eyes glance to the time and he knows they need to start moving around. Even if he wants nothing more than to stay here…

...Maybe he could delay the real world for a short bit by making breakfast. Surprise her with her favorite; blueberry pancakes and bacon. He could even swing by Mrs. Fleurs shop and get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers at the end of the day. Maybe even cupcakes from the bakery she really loved.

Toshi gently pulls his arms away from her, the bed shifting as he tries to get up--

-- Only to be pulled back down causing a yelp of surprise to echo from him.

His larger hand rested on top of hers, glancing back to see her peering up at him through half lidded eyes. "Nope."

"No?"

"We're calling David and telling him it's vacation day," she states, stifling a yawn. "And the two of us are gonna be lazy today."

Toshi gives her a gentle smile, turning to his side to face her fully. He didn't think it'd be possible that she'd be even more beautiful in the early hours, with the sleepy smile on her lips. "We can't take a break just because we feel like it. We have to go do our jobs." But his tones less persistent on the matter than it was the night before.

"Y'know how many heroes there are in the city?" She reminds him. "Tons. And they've already reached their vacation quota. And they didn't just get done with finals. We're taking a holiday."

Toshi chuckles, shaking his head. "And just lay around all day?"

"Yep."

"Doing what?"

"Absolutely nothing."

And there comes a playful gleam in his eyes. "Well. If we're not going to do anything, I guess I can't make you breakfast. And I won't be able to reach for the remote so we can watch movies or--"

Brown eyes peered up at him, thoughtfully, before a smile appears, knowing full well she's won today. "Mm. Okay. Maybe we can do a couple things."

"And what do we tell Dave on why we're taking a break?"

And then came the mischief in her own gaze. "We tell him the truth; you broke me and I can't walk for the next month."

"Allison!" He could feel his face flush crimson and she giggled. There came a pout on his own lips. "You can't say stuff like that, we'll never hear the end of it from him."

She shook her head. "It just means he's happy for us," she tells him. "And he should be. Because I'm happy for us."

Toshinori relaxed, fingers reaching up to stroke her cheek lovingly. "I am, too. Last night was...amazing. I...I never thought--"

Allison reached up to rest her hand atop his. "Nope. No self doubt today or worrying about me," she insists. "Because no matter what happens, we're going to stick through it all together. And you're not going to lose me. Especially not to some creep we know we can take down. I love you too much to leave you, Toshinori."

And he melts once more at her touch, at her honey laced words and he falls harder than before. In that moment, he thinks he's standing on top of the world. That nothing wrong would ever happen again.

Because they'd make it through it all.

"I love you, too."

[stagefoureddiediaz]

damn —has she really only been in 18 episodes? i know it’s a lot, but it somehow feels like so little in the long run of things.

like —just wow.

Okay but love, i literally had to delete and tumble and have my sister lock my laptop in my room, cause the episode ended up coming out super late where i live and i had to do everything in me to avoid spoilers.

your little nest in the washroom was so super adorable.

and thank you for always taking your time with our asks; you’re literally so sweet and it makes me so happy.

i come bearing questions, though. i know your costume meta will be out soon, but im impatient. sue.

May’s outfit.

MAY’S OUTFIT.

it was SOO cute. but i see blues have been important this season, so please, if you’d like. can you expand on that for me? and may’s necklace as well. she’s usually wearing it, I think. it’s interesting to me, because it hinges on being a choker.

does it lend to her maybe feeling she has a noose wrapped around her in the sense of time for uni is running out? maybe she’s still not sure whether she really wants to?

i know nothing about costume theory, so this is all just complete brain rot and speculation.

but if you’d be kind enough to indulge me.

thanking you in advance.

-gabi.

HI Gabi!!!

Good to have you in my inbox! Good work on managing to avoid the spoilers - you have far more restraint than I do - hence the setting myself up in the hotel bathroom - which I 'm glad brought people amusement in the build up to the episode!

I'm nearly always happy to take time and give people full answers to any asks I get - I am humbled that people actually want to seek out my input or opinion on things and I really do enjoy being able to channel my ASD and ADHD into something that feels productive! I might struggle to keep up once I go back to work at the beginning of June, but we'll see how we go!

Mays outfit was divine - I adore nearly everything they've been putting May in this season. but that blue on her skin tone was just perfect it made her glow

Blue has very much been an important colour this season so seeing May in such a bright blue and with the orange in her skirt as well - very interesting!

The blue May is wearing is all about optimism (think blue sky thinking) loyalty and calmness, its a happy shade and really speaks of May feeling comfortable in her decision to go to university. I don't want to go into too much more detail here as it will be in my meta post, but the actual costume itself - the long sleeves and high neckline is sensible and secure - again suggesting May is happy with her decision to go to university.

Her necklaces are a combination of ones she wears regularly and one we've seen a couple of times this season. the shorter one is a borderline choker you're right, but its not constrictive and isn't an obvious chain (like the one Taylor wore in 5x16) to me its suggestive of that fine we tread when growing up - its about learning to be an adult whilst at the same time being aware of your youth and inexperience - knowing there will be bumps in the road (the little balls on the necklace)but forging ahead anyway. So yes her decision to go to university will play a part in that - not necessarily because she feels like she's choking or running out of time but because it is a big change in her life and the unknown is a scary place to be.

The second necklace is like a shield boss (the central bit in the middle of a shield) I will go in to this in my meta a bit more because I think its interesting - especially in relation to the scenes we see it in!

I will be going in to it in more detail in my meta, but it might take me a couple more days than usual, due to my being on holiday at the moment so my meta writing time is a little compromised so hang tight!!

Hopefully this quenches your costume thirst for a few days until I can get my met finished!

[bravernificationbeam]

39 midam songs for mini midam week!!! my fav lyrics for midam from each of the songs under the cut!

Can you believe that we're still here and not in hell?

WOUND - Black Dresses This is a wound and it's closing This is a wound, please let it There is a wound called knowing What it's like to feel this (Given my age I think the least important thing was intent)

Praying - Kesha 'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" (Some things only god can forgive)

Running Up that Hill - Kate Bush And if I only could I'd make a deal with god And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems (Tell me, we both matter, don’t we?)

Learn to Let Go - Kesha I'm done reliving my bad decisions I see now maybe there's a reason why I've been through hell and back Yeah, honestly, it's all made me who I am Holding on to wasted time Gotta learn to let go in life (Choose redemption/Your happy ending’s up to you)

Love Like You - Ashe cover If I could begin to do Something that does right by you I would do about anything I would even learn how to love

Miracle of Miracles - Fiddler on the Roof Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles I was afraid that god would frown But like he did so long ago, at Jericho God just made a wall fall down

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne Sorry, girl, but you missed out Well, tough luck, that boy's mine now

MAYBE THIS WORLD IS ANOTHER WORLD'S HELL - Black Dresses Can you believe that We're still here, and not in hell? Or maybe this is Some other world after it fell? (Can you believe that we still believe we can be saved?)

Learning in Public - Allie X I thought that I could take Take you with me But did you slip away Or did I let go? (I can’t even look at me/While everyone’s watching/I’m learning in public)

MY HEART BEATS OUT OF TIME - Black Dresses Is this body me? Can I be more than it? Was there ever a better way to live? In a rotting shell why do I exist? Is this fucked up hell really all there is?

Man to Man - Dorian Electra Are you man enough to soften up? Are you tough enough to open up? (Just take my hand, we’ll settle this man to man)

Ashes - Stellar But now I'm stuck at the gate Of Lucifer's estate I fell in love with a girl I met in Hell

Stab Yer Dad - Spoonboy When everyone I know’s still standing in the shadows Of the men who left their mark, I’d rather be left in the dark And if our fathers were our role models for god and they failed us What does that tell us about our supposed omnipotent savior?

HEADACHE - $waggot You think I’m sick in the head There's something wrong with my brain But I’m not fucking insane I just have a fucking headache

SHARP HALO - Black Dresses I just wanna Hide where god can never find me All my prayers are From the depths From the darkness From the woods Crying, praying, wishing For something better than this (Angel, I hear you/No need to scream so loud/Reach out and touch my hand/I’m going to pull you down)

The Phantom of the Opera - The Phantom of the Opera And in this labyrinth Where night is blind The Phantom of the Opera is here Inside my mind (I am the mask you wear/It’s me they hear)

Jolene Part 2 (Take Me Instead) - Pip King Your arms could break the spine of death Your voice could rob the winds of breath No mortal can compete with you, Jolene (To feel your limbs enclosing me/Would sate my every fantasy, Jolene)

WIGGLE - Black Dresses I keep myself together somehow Stepped on too many times to count I hope one day my broken frame Can get away, can find a better place That’s safe (They tried to push me down/But I just wiggled around/Until they couldn’t hold me/Years and years they couldn’t hold me)

LEFT ARM OF LIFE - Black Dresses Even in the depths I treasure everything that we've become

18 y/o - $waggot 18 years old today And tomorrow and the next day And the next 20 decades (I hope you feel better/’Cause you’ll be looking like that on the Internet forever)

No Good Deed - Wicked My road of good intentions Led where such roads always lead No good deed Goes unpunished

Devil I Know - Allie X Baby, you're the devil I know Better than the devil I don't Maybe I could stop, but I won't 'Cause baby you're the devil I know (Every time I take your lead, feels like a curse/And every time I try to stop, feels even worse)

You Are My Sunshine - The Civil Wars cover You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away

Rainbow - Kesha You gotta learn to let go, put the past behind you Trust me, I know, the ghosts will try to find you But just put those colors on, girl Come and paint the world with me tonight (What’s left of my heart’s still made of gold)

Achilles, Come Down - Gang of Youths Some of us love you, Achilles It’s not much but there’s proof (It’s not worth it, Achilles/Don’t listen, Achilles/You’re worth more, Achilles)

PEACESIGN​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​! - Black Dresses The dead hope that you always clung to The dream that someday it would heal you Is there anywhere left to fall? I try so hard to recall hope Ancient hope Rotting hope Can we make something beautiful with no hope? (You know why everything is horror/You know why no one will remember us in a better world)

The Well - Gazelle Twin I fell into a well Deep down under the ground All I could see was black All that couldn't be found

Our Love is God - Heathers We can start and finish wars We're what killed the dinosaurs We're the asteroid that's overdue (Our love is god)

EARTHRISE - $waggot If you're down for deicide Come with me, we'll watch the Earth rise It's not quite the first time I've spent here a thousand lifetimes (I just wanna ride the wave with you/I will do whatever you want to/I'll call the whole thing off it's true/We'll spare them all, into the blue)

Folly - Gazelle Twin What species is this? What century? What atmosphere? What government?

Even in Death - Evanescence (2016 ver) Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love But no bonds can hold me from your side, oh my love They don't know you can't leave me They don't hear you singing to me

Adam and Steve - Dorian Electra (R.U.B.Y remix) They want to destroy me They will all enjoy it Say I’m an abomination But I’m god’s creation

Mr. Loverman - Ricky Montgomery I'm Mr. Loverman And I miss my lover, man I'm Mr. Loverman Oh, and I miss my lover

Fleece - Crystal Castles Freedom is honesty Freedom is hostility Take her from her diocese Place her on the mantelpiece

Lovely - Bonnie McKee cover Isn't it lovely, all alone Heart made of glass, my mind of stone Tear me to pieces, skin and bone Hello, welcome home (I hope someday I’ll make it out of here/Even if it takes all night or a hundred years)

Blondes - Peach PRC Call your boyfriend Tell him he's fine He's just no longer your type You've got someone else on your mind Call your boyfriend Play him this song Tell him he did nothing wrong You just decided you prefer blondes

Positions - Dorian Electra cover This some shit that I usually don't do But for you, I kinda, kinda want to 'Cause you're down for me and I'm down too Yeah, I'm down too, switching the positions for you

Perfect Teeth - Black Dresses A set of perfect teeth Shining, glinting in the dark Trying not to scream Praying out for a spark For a sign from god For the lights to come on Perfect teeth fucking chewing on me (If that’s your idea of being edgy/I guess that’s good for you/I think you must have a nice life/A real nice life)

Never Go Back - Evanescence Everything is so dark And I know there's something wrong but I can't turn the light on In that split second change when you knew we couldn't hold on I realize I live to love you

Godzilla - Kesha What do you get when you take Godzilla to the mall? He scares all the children and shreds all the pillows And knocks over walls His emerald eyes, they sparkle and shine As he eats the food court and steals half my fries That's what you get when you take Godzilla to the mall (What do you get when you take Godzilla to meet your mom?)

[animebaby00]

I Don't Deserve It: Chapter 3 (FINAL)

When Shoto gets a nasty stomach bug, Izuku stops at nothing to take care of him.

But Shoto can't help but wonder why ?

(Link to Chapter 1): ⬇️

(Link to Chapter 2): ⬇️

The few times Shoto had forgotten to brush his teeth before bed had left him with an absolutely disgusting taste in his mouth the next morning.

However, that taste was NOTHING in comparison to the absolutely sickening, bitter, revolting, acidic flavor that coated his tongue once he woke up.

He pursed his lips sourly, positive that even the flavor of actual vomit coming up wasn't as bad as this. It was almost at the point of making him feel nauseous all over again, but with nothing in his stomach, it was just a mild queasiness.

He harshly blinked his eyes, taking note of the yellowish gleam in the room. It still must have been day time,but later afternoon due to the position of the shadows casted along the wall.

How long had he been asleep?

He sat up slightly, decently warm due to the blankets covering his form, but he wasn't overly hot, nor suffering from chills. He actually felt...better. Well, better than this morning at least.

But he still ached to rid his mouth of the bitter after tastes from earlier.

Shoto heaved himself up more, relieved that his body didn't act against him like it did several times before, and he was actually able to sit up without much protest. However, right when he did, the click of a door sounded in his ear and he caught sight of Midoriya reentering his room, a large, brown tray balanced on his arm.

This whole entire situation was turning into one of deja vu.

Midoriya made it about halfway into his room before he noticed Shoto's wakened presence, his eyes immediately perking up with a gleam of happiness once he did.

"Ah, Todoroki. You're awake." He said, a soft smile gracing his lips.

Shoto nodded, "Y-yeah." He looked back at the curtained window, " How uh...how long was I out?"

"About 4 hours. I was going to wake you up when I came back in here but I guess I won't need to," sock covered feet padded over to the bed and he leaned down to set the tray on the bed's edge, keeping his gaze upward as he did so, "How are you feeling ?"

Shoto's eyes widened a bit.

Such a simple question to answer, but to him, it felt highly difficult.

He knew it was just a simple inquiry about his wellbeing...but it was rare that he had ever been asked "how he was feeling".

He could say that he felt 100% better, say that he could leave Midoriya be and apologize for the unnecessary trouble. However, as proven from earlier, Midoriya was highly analytical (about the most odd things he may add) so he knew that if he tried to lie, the boy would no doubt be able to deduct it. It wasn't a complete lie though. He did feel better but-

"Not...too bad" he answered, noticing that even his voice sounded better, and he was deeply relieved by that "Not as bad as before."

Midoriya grinned "I'm happy to hear that !"

Shoto was a bit puzzled by the boy's eagerness, but that feeling completely diminished once he noticed Midoriya moving closer to him. His hand was slowly raising up, and in no time, it found a place against the skin of his forehead.

He froze in his place

"Well, you definitely look better." Midoriya concluded, "And your fever came down. I think you just caught that 24 hour stomach bug that's been going around."

Shoto blinked, "Stomach bug ?"

The freckled boy nodded, "Mmhm. I guess we've been so busy with our hero work and school that we didn't really notice it. But it doesn't last long." He pulled his hand away, "You should feel better by tomorrow, but make sure you take it easy."

Shoto watched as Midoriya reached over to grab a water bottle from the tray at the end of the bed, "Here, you should probably drink something after getting so sick. Don't need you getting dehydrated, but make sure you drink it slow. Are you still feeling nauseous at all ? Or dizzy? I brought some medicine if you are."

Shoto put a hand to his stomach, feeling slightly uneasy in answering.

He stayed silent, and a frown immediately crossed over onto Midoriya's face.

"Todoroki ? Are you okay ?" He asked frantically, tossing the water bottle to the side,"Are you feeling sick again ? Do you need the-"

"Why are you doing this?"

The question seemed to linger in the air. It was quiet for several seconds as Midoriya's face fell completely blank.

He slowly sat back down.

"What do you mean?"

Shoto looked down at his lap, "You know," he mumbled, gesturing to himself, the bed, and the tray at his feet, "All of this. Bringing me to your room, cleaning up the mess I made,the cold rag, bringing me water and medicine…"

"Helping me." He thought, but didn't say. Damn it, he really was pathetic. Just picturing what his father would say to him right now sent a flood of pitiful thoughts through his brain.

He was no better than a starving mutt scrapping up food from a trash can outside of a restaurant. A rotting, shriveled up tree in the cold depths of winter.

A piece of work. A nuisance. A waste of time.

A pathetic excuse of a human being, let alone a hero.

"Well that's obvious," Midoriya's chipper voice sounded, no ounce of remorse in sight, "Because you're my friend."

Shoto inwardly grimaced.

Friend.

The oh so Midoriya-like response that he knew deep down was coming.

But even so…it just wasn't right.

He slowly shook his head, fingers rising up to rub at his sore temples "God I can't believe this…"

"Huh?"

A sigh left his lips and he directed his bi-colored gaze to rest on Midoriya's deep, confused, green irises, his next words heavy on his tongue.

"I'm...I'm sorry Midoriya."

The freckled boy blinked, eyebrows furrowing at his sick friend, noticing how his presence seemed to suddenly freeze over them in a bitter chill.

What?

"Sorry?" he asked, his tone light and wavering in disbelief "Why are you sorry?"

Shoto pressed his lips into a thin line, his head tilting downwards, bangs covering his eyes. Slowly, he turned his head to the side, seemingly in an attempt to avoid Midoriya's perplexed stare…and the topic of explanation.

He looked so...dismal. Or maybe, upset? Disappointed? Honestly, Midoriya wasn't sure.

He actually wasn't sure about a lot of things in concern of Shoto today.

Everyone gets sick. That's inevitable. But Shoto seemed so completely and utterly...bludgeoned by it, that it had made Midoriya very concerned.

Shoto had to have not felt 100% that morning, considering how badly he had thrown up. He had hidden it well even though Midoriya could have sworn that his complexion did look a little green. But then, things continued to take their turns.

He hadn't mentioned feeling sick at all during their time in the bathroom, kept brushing off that he was fine. He had tried to avoid Midoriya's help and care, tried getting up and leaving when he very well wasn't capable of doing so.

And now, here he was, looking down at the bed, fiddling with his fingers like some child who had just stolen some cookies out of a cookie jar, apologizing for something that no other person ever would.

But why?

Why did he seem so regretful, so beaten down, so depressed?

Midoriya began to gain a bit of realization

He had seen that face before, at least ones similar to it. At their battle during the sports festival, in the hospital after beating Stain, those tiny increments he would encounter his father or talk about his mother.

Others wouldn't be able to see it, but Midoriya could. That look…

...was a look of guilt.

It was then that he understood. Maybe not Shoto's exact position, as no one could possibly understand what he'd been through completely. Midoriya knew he probably never would, but he was going to try his hardest to make Shoto understand HIS position, even if it was just a little.

"Hey, Todoroki." He tried, scooting closer to the male's side whilst looking down at the bed as well, , "You know...I actually used to not like asking for help either."

Midoriya ghosted his gaze upward for just a moment , and caught a twinge of movement from Shoto out of the corner of his eye. At least he got a reaction and confirmation that he was listening.

He picked at the blanket below him with his fingers, "I'm sure you already know this," he said softly, "But it was pretty much just me and my mom growing up. With my dad not in the picture, she was the one who always took care of me. She worked quite a few jobs a week at cafes and stores to keep up with expenses while also looking out for my well being at the same time. "

The soft smile on his lips faded some as he continued.

"I would usually stay at Kacchan's house after school when she couldn't pick me up, sometimes I would even spend the night or fall asleep on the sofa because she would get back so late. And when that wasn't an option, I would go to the office and do homework until she was able to come get me, but I never truly realized just how hard she pushed herself until I got older."

Izuku stood up and walked over his dresser, hand reaching out to pick up a framed photo of him and his mother, finger smoothing over the glassened face.

"She always had weekends off with me which made me happy. We would watch movies, play hero, go to All Might's autograph signings, and we'd always have so much fun...but I would begin to notice how she would doze off halfway through a movie, how sometimes she wouldn't lift me up as high, or how sometimes she would walk slower than normal. I never noticed...how tired she was. How worn out working so many different shifts made her, and on top of it she had to take care of me. It made me feel...guilty."

He set the photo down and turned back around, now finding Shoto's bi-colored gaze completely on him, focused and set, like he was mentally relating to what Midoriya was saying.

"Once middle school started, I decided to try doing more things for myself. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing my homework by myself, and other things. At first, it was easy, but then I found my time was slipping away because of my studies and my hero research. Sometimes I would go a day without eating, other times I wouldn't have time to study for a test and my scores weren't the best. I had to keep reminding myself that sometimes my mom had it way worse than me, and so I kept doing what I was doing. But I always found it strange how she would ask me if I was okay or if I needed help when she was the one working 3 jobs while also taking care of a kid."

Shoto parted his lips to speak, his inquisitive words just barely above a whisper.

"W-what did you do?"

Midoriya sighed before his lips curled up into a sympathetic, knowing smile "Denied it. Told her I was fine and that nothing was wrong."

Shoto looked down at the bed, "Oh…"

"But of course, schemes, whether good or bad, have to come to an end somehow. And that happened to me in one of the worst ways possible."

"How?"

Midoriya chuckled sheepishly,"I brought home my first test...with an F."

Now that was something. Midoriya had the 5th highest grade level in their class so he was no doubt a good student. To say Shoto was shocked was an understatement.

"Naturally, this caught my Mom's attention, and soon as I got home she set me down to talk. I knew then and there that I had to tell her what was going on and that I would only make it worse if I tried to hide anything so I told her everything from start to finish. I told her I felt bad for her and that I always worried that she was working too hard. I explained absolutely everything, but in the end, instead of her being mad, she did something that I'd always remember for the rest of my life. She took my hand and said 'Izuku, I want you to understand that no matter what, you can always come to me if you need something. No matter how tired I am, no matter what time it is, I'll always be here. It's my job to look after you. We can't do everything by ourselves, we can't be who we want to be without others. Help is a life necessity and everyone needs it sooner or later, even if they don't think they need it or deserve it. Asking for it and accepting it isn't a weakness…'"

Midoriya trailed off for a moment to walk back over to his bed to sit, and gently placed a hand over Shoto's folded ones, tone warm and reassuring.

"In fact...it's one of the greatest strengths a person can have.'"

Something clicked then. Midoriya's words...he wasn't sure why but they ignited something. A feeling that he couldn't pinpoint.

It took so much in the past for him to be convinced that help or assistance was a sign of weakness. All of the stern lectures, orders and put downs that he could be better. The never ending struggles that he conquered by himself and only by himself because that's what he was taught to do.

It was all changed by a simple story from a person he hadn't even known for a year.

"And you know," Midoriya added, "If a hero is sick, then they can't perform at their best for other people, so the best thing for you, whether you like it or not, is rest."

"Yeah." he sighed, "Your right. I...can actually see that now. I guess my old ways got to me. I'm just not used to this," he shifted in place, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Midoriya said with a smile, "I'm your friend. I'm happy to help."

He grabbed the water bottle for the second time, "Here, I imagine the taste you have in your mouth right now isn't too pleasant."

Shoto breathed a light chuckle and put the rim of the bottle up to his lips, "You have no idea." He took a few sips, relishing in how nice the coolness of the water felt in his parched mouth and dry throat.

"I've been sick plenty of times before so I have an idea. Now," Midoriya stood, "Do you maybe want to try eating something? Some crackers or some toast maybe ? You should probably try and keep your strength up."

"Yeah...crackers are okay. I'm not as nauseous as I was earlier so I think I can stomach it."

"Great ! I'll be right back then. Call if you need anything else, okay?"

"...Sure."

Midoriya turned to head out of the bedroom, hand reaching out to grab the handle of the door.

"Midoriya ?"

He paused his movements and turned his head.

"Yes, Todoroki?"

And then he saw it. That oh so, rare, genuine little smile that seemed to brighten up the whole room.

"Thank you."

Two simple words, but to Midoriya, they meant a million.

[sebastianshaw]

RP Meme Lines from "AHS: Coven" Episode 2: "Boy Parts" Part One of Two

Every hook I baited with that jerk chicken got a gator.

It's the odor, I tell you.

Yeah, either way it's a death sentence.

Come on, come to Papa/Mama, baby.

Well, we're cooked if she already made the call

This is wrong. All wrong.

All rot and black.

This will not be forgiven.

Why would you kill God's innocent creatures?

You play with dead things, you're more than likely to join'em.

He should be canonized.

How can you be such a bitch?

I understand people, and that guy would have happily taken a turn on me if he had the chance.

He wasn't like that.

It's guilt by association.

I'm sorry I killed your boy candy, okay?

Given your black widow status, he was living on borrowed time anyways.

I'm kind of busy right now.

My God, what's that smell?

I went to a Chinese doctor, he gave me some herbs to boil. I know it's kind of pungent.

If you scream, I'm gonna put you right back in the ground where I found you.

I want you to tell me right now how it is you're still alive after all these years and not some moldering corpse.

Jesus, woman, it's a cell phone, all right?

Now you just stay quiet, and when I get back, we're gonna continue our little chat. And you better make it worth my while.

I got an "A" in math. All of 'em. Calculus, trig, advanced algebra.

Look, I'm sure you're a genius.

Look, Pencil Dick, I'm not stupid, okay?

You ate that extra piece, and now you want a freebie.

Get the manager!

I am the manager!

Did they send you to jail?

Help! She's burned me!

You didn't want to join us at first.

So, technically, I'm part of your tribe.

Is this where we all sing "Kum-Bah-Yah"?

Bitch, I will eat you!

You guys have got to start taking care of each other.

We have enough enemies on the outside.

How could they possibly do that?

I'm just looking for someone who had a motive to hurt those guys, who could've screwed with the brakes.

Maybe whatever happened in that room was upsetting.

Shouldn't we have a lawyer here or something?

Had you met them before?

They took me in the back room to try to get me high, but I said no.

She's come a long way with her addiction issues.

I felt bad for him.

He died right after you left.

I have no idea what she's talking about.

She's clearly lost her mind.

She can move things with her mind.

I killed that asshole in the hospital.

I have powers, too.

We're witches.

I have powers, too. We're witches.

[NAME] has clearly suffered some kind of mental break.

Everyone here is a witch.

Please don't send us to jail.

Nobody's going to jail.

Are you in charge here?

I'm in charge everywhere.

Oh. Tough guy.

Come on, give up.

I'm barely trying, you know.

In about ten seconds, I'm going to turn the heat up in that chubby melon of yours, and I'm gonna turn your brains to scrambled eggs.

Frankly, it's been a hard morning, and I'd really rather not work up a sweat.

Just drink the damn water, will you, please?

Do you think [NAME] can fix it?

You're such a goddamn idiot.

I can't believe you told them everything.

I'm supposed to be cleaning up my act.

When this gets out, I'm screwed.

Who cares? This is murder.

Who cares? This is murder. Like, multiple murders.

They're not gonna find any evidence that we messed with the bus because we didn't mess with the bus!

What did you do to that shit-dick in the hospital though?

Now, I forgave your ham-handed mass murder business with the bus-- overexuberance of youth and all that-- but if you haven't got the goddamn brains to know that when strangers come asking questions, we close ranks, then I fear our line is truly at an end.

I couldn't toast a piece of bread with the heat they were putting on you.

You are soft. You're emotional. You care what people think.

Now, if there's one thing you learn before leaving this place, it's that we, even the weakest among us, are better than the best of them.

Are we gonna get arrested?

You are missing the point.

In this whole wide wicked world, the only thing you have

to be afraid of is me.

I know what you did for me, dealing with that asshole, so I'm gonna return the favor.

Resurrection spell. We're gonna bring your boyfriend/girlfriend/dog/father/etc back to life.

Guess that crash was even worse than I thought.

He's still kind of cute though.

I see potential.

I wonder if he's a shower or a grower.

Is this just a joke to you?

All we have to do is follow this recipe.

Find me a saw.

How's the oven?

I wish I could say yes.

She goes through hell and it doesn't even work.

We've been at this for a year.

All I can do is stand around like an asshole while you get sick.

If you want to try this, I'll support it.

I'm not ready to give up.

I should be able to have a baby just like any other woman.

I know it's horrible, but a lot of women do this.

This is about us having a family.

You don't know what you're asking me to do.

This kind of magic-- it's. . . dark.

It's about life and death, and I don't want to play God.

So you're gonna let [NAME] play God instead.

Doesn't that smell good?

You probably don't need to eat, being immortal.

Of course, sometimes we just like to do things because we enjoy them.

[the-firebird69]

Now Dan your people are saying the word no

I don't have to say no cuz they're the first row then your bosses

Zues Hera

You have to say it anyways you don't care so we understand that it's going to beat the s*** out of us for or say to you

Dan

Then come over and beat you up until you're unconscious and your brain is stopped working and you rot yeah that's what they do

Zues Hera

So I figured out something we're out of line and we've been online it's kind of doing that to us a lot I can see why and we keep saying stupid things to make me help us when we're a threat to everyone's existence nobody wants to help us because he can't because we're stupid he says the last line

Dan

whye the f*** you you understand this so simple this shattered on my like solid uranium if you hit one I'll get triggered doesn't matter how far you away the solar system your dead meat that's the math regardless of what you say it's so damn tiring I don't want to repeat it I want you to shut the f****** if you don't I'm going to ask and pull you out of here I'm so sick of seeing your dumb face and your father's stupid face you're so f****** ignorant it hurts people everyone up you blow up you stupid fat sow..

Zues Hera

I get this I don't care how this is handle either no was sitting here talking about it he doesn't hear from me and I probably shouldn't say anything I keep saying stuff.

Dan

You two are like girls and can't shut your mouths

Zues Hera

We've had this idea for a while you realize they're not in our shop they're not our guys they're work for us to work with us and our bosses but you have no right to say what you're saying yes I do you little puts you sit there day after day all day long harassing me you don't know me you're not from my family you're not my people you're so f****** lunatic retard sitting there bothering me you have absolutely no right to say anything to me or even stuck to me you're traded to your people your scum you don't have anything or a f****** moron even sitting next to me for years you're nobody still you shouldn't be near me at all not to mention talking to me the f*** are you saying loser that you're so stupid you don't know anything at all loser

Zues Hera

I sort of get something he's turning the tables says no I'm a f****** ignorant a slob

Dan

you know you did like 50 f****** thousand times coming up and now it's like no mystery why. It's so damn dumb I can't believe it you're dumber than Brian it'll ever be you and your father have ruined your realm completely and you have absolutely no right to do what you're doing to me it's wonderful legal we've had to kill you like 50,000 times this year you got your brains blown out, he's got his brains blown out over and over your own people are doing it but s*** is not hard to manipulate sticking the f****** mud. By the way your people are almost completely dead and you're not going to be alive is there wise ass remarks I mean holy s*** what a f****** pig you are a pig for your own people same with him what a massive pig and nobody hears you're nobody to Dan you should be anywhere near me scum stuck to me and you ruined everything

Zues Hera

I don't care how he talks to you Dan you're supposed to shut your f****** mouth

Tony s

I will not I don't have to to him or any of you

Dan

Yeah you do we're going to make you shut your mouth and we see them shutting your mouth all the time too you have pot stand you drew their attention there slaughtering you we're slaughter you too that's how we know you're dying

Tony s

You can slaughter reality and what we're going to still come at you with something

Dan

Nope. Maybe running on nothing pretty soon a few days and all that s*** gets out and why you a****** retards are doing it

Tony s

They're doing it because they took Mac Daddy and is playing the wrong way when mac daddy said I'm going to let him have everything and think they're winning it did not mean to hand us everything including hardware and military hardware defenses designs techniques of doing things top secret weaponry systems if you add thorium it works 100 times better all sorts of stuff like that these idiot more lock gave us and it just keep doing it thinking that we can't do anything against them and their shifts will be stuck and they're going to be stuck outside the perimeter and yet I think they're going to win something because they're retarded okay these people are very stupid it's like a 60 IQ it's like a chimpanzees like you and see you can teach how to fly a rocket or come back here later it won't even know what it is same thing with your idiots you should have seen Steve struggle that the computer and HMC holy s*** he looked at that thing like 50,000 times unbelievable that you even understand it then because you're so unintelligent you can see how stupid you are in your face your time just melts every second that you're in a meeting with them cuz you're horrific questions about life and how to do things I mean holy s*** and you run around you're trying to have our son ask people stuff and you're embarrassing the s*** out of yourselves all day and night this is the most embarrassing thing and we have proof had to let Tony s is saying they're trying to stuff Us full thinking you're going to win by overwhelming us with your numbers which are going to be non-existent in days or with missiles which you gave up today what are you going to fire for missiles if you don't have missiles they say they have plenty of missiles Tony s

Thor Freya

We don't have plenty of missiles and we don't have plenty of missiles top side or things to make them with and it's your fault you little piece of s*** and what you're doing out there on the highway which is like the only thing we have left now we can only guess so we need you in questioning and we definitely need to throw you into a furnace

Tony s

We don't care what you say Tony yes we're still going to do what we're doing and

Dan

shut the f****** then Dave next door you're going to get kicked out and you're already in the process of being evicted did you even know that you would read stuff they show you

Zues Hera

You at preview to that conversation

Dan

Yes he was and I told it to him I said the other guy's apartment I'm going to get him out of there

Stan I do need help with it and I tried to get them out and my friend here knows it he said these rebels are way past it and they're too stupid and they're ruining my life and yours and he showed me how John Riva Lord was going around harming me physically harming me to take over my role to do things in my name I need help getting out of the house and I tried to tell people he's wrong

We're going to do that and I'll sign people to it

Tony s

We are on it and need them out of there and we have to recover from amazing number of f UPS these people f up all the time every few seconds near him and for you a piece of s*** Dan AKA Dave and we're going to sue you for him you and your father are sitting there harassing him he has no choice but to listen to it you have a piece of dog s*** reaches up and tears your people in half every time you do it. I'm going to lay into you down and erase your people here in a sense suggestions to mine that we get you out of there and evict you and help stan do it I don't want to hear you bothering him. And that thorium is ours it's Mac property it's not yours

Mac

I'm going to say a whole bunch of stuff to you people answer him then

Dan

you say it to me I'm going to kill you by hand and said it before I'm going to have you killed anyways you come at me you're going to be dead

Zues Hera

I saw you see something he's killed me before and I can't figure it out

Dan

Shut your face little kid now I'm putting hit on you and you'll be dead before you get out of your dump bed and you're brain will run out and the bugs will eat it like they should it's such a horrible piece of dog s*** Dan. And yeah you encourage that to happen to people in Port Charlotte

Zues Hera

We're going to get involved I'm so tired of hearing from this guy Dan you're such a turd and you live up here too bothering us they bothering us to get rid of you and we're going to do that

Billium

I have to hit you I have to

Kenwe employ you 3 this is terrible

Mac